My bleeding hands
by Timothyology
Summary: Fred is is pain. Real pain. And he's causing it. He feels so ugly and he knows that what he wants is wrong. Can anyone help him? WARNINGS: slash, self mutilation, twincest. * This fic has been discontinued, but shall remain up. *
1. Twin Entities

**Rating: **Rated Mature for same sex "experiences" and self mutilation.

**Pairing: **Fred and George Weasley

**Disclaimer: **I do not (but wish I did) own ANY of the characters in this story, just the storyline….bummer, huh?

------------------------

  
He was beautiful. The mirror image of this stupid boy. Well…he WAS a mirror image of me. I should've stopped earlier. Now I am ugly. Scared and bleeding all over. I don't know how long I've been cutting myself now. Maybe just over a year. I hope he still loves me like he used to. Sweet brotherly love. I could except that from George, but I want much, much more. He'll never love me like I love him. I cry myself to sleep while I stare at him from my bed in the Gryffindor tower.

I'm Fred, by the way.

The boy I'm talking about - George - is my gorgeous twin brother. He's not that tall, but what he lacks in height, he makes up for in muscles. All of that bat swinging really has paid off for him. Us. Both of us. His strong arms are something to behold. I can't stand it when we're apart. I can't believe we actually signed up for different classes after 4 whole years of being in the same place as the other was. Well….not always the same place. When one of us were to go to the bathroom for example. Okay, enough stupid rambling. It's our fifth year at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry and I can't wait to get out of here!

Everyone else is downstairs having a huge party. We won our first Quiddich match. It's dark and I'm lonely, and I'm longing for attention- from whom I don't care. I want someone to hold me. To tell me that he will love me. A shoulder to cry on. Suddenly, the dormitory door opens and I am perfectly still.

It's George. Shit, I must look a mess. I'd wipe the tears from my eyes, but I've been cutting away at the back of my hands… Ran out of room on my arms and right leg. "H- Hi George", I manage, pulling my long sleeves over my hands and wiping sweet tears away. "Hey, Fred! I'm so excited! It's a long weekend! We haven't done that in a while. W--What's wrong?" He must have noticed that my eyes were still leaking. Funny expression that is.

"Nothing.. It's nothing really. A little homesick, that's all!" I manage a small laugh and start to feel light headed. I must have lost more blood than I thought. Oh well, a simple spell will fix that. I just have to hang on until I can talk my way out of the room for a moment with my wand. "Hey, Fred, you don't look so good. Please, _please_ tell me what's wrong", George sounded desperate. He sat down next to me on the bed and put his arm around my shoulder, bringing me in for a long embrace. God, I love it when he does that.

"Please. I love you. You don't know how much you mean to me, Fred. Tell me, please." George whispered, his breath warm on my ear and neck. I was starting to blush bright red.

George had been trying to get to me for the past two months. It's easy to tell when something's wrong with your brother. Especially if he's your twin. Must be easy for him, because I'm doing a bad job hiding it. I want to tell him _so_ bad. "George, I-", I stopped myself. I felt hot water on the nape of my neck. George's face buried in my next, his chest was heaving and he was…..crying? "George, don't cry over me. I- I love you too. I would tell you if it was something life threatening. Trust me….it- it's nothing." I tried my hardest to reassure him, but it wasn't working.

"F-Fred I…. I went to your bed one night l-last week. Y-You looked like you w-were in pain! I saw the cuts, Fred! I- I- I s-saw them!", George stuttered in between sobs and pushed his face further into my fiery mane. I want to throw my arms around him. I do and to my surprise I'm crying too. Fat tears are falling from his eyes and matting my hair down. I ignore it. "I'm sorry. It's just. I was depressed with all of this happening." I spat out and pulled him tighter against me.

"With all what happening?" George sat up, trying to hold back the tears and his eyes grew wide with horror. He was looking dead at me. He must have seen my hands. Shit. I didn't even try to hide them again. I roll up my sleeves and reveal all of the cuts, gashes, and bruised that cover my bare arms.

I'm so ugly.

I want to die right now as I sit in front of his piercing eyes. He's starring at me like I'm some sort of a freak. I feel my eyes water again. George scoots a little closer and runs his hands up and down my arms, his expression turning to one of understanding. "It's okay. I still love you, Fred. Just…just tell me why." he tries so hard to smile and instead he wraps me in his strong arms and pulls me to him again.

I love it when he does this.

"I… I was afraid that you wouldn't accept me. For- for who I am." I mumble and hope that he doesn't hear, or doesn't answer if he does. He looks me deep in the eyes- the eyes that we share- and says, "I'll always accept you. _No matter what_. You're my twin, Fred. I could never not accept you. Now, what is it that you wanted me to accept _about_ you?"

"I", my voice drops to a barely audible whisper and I say it, "I think I'm gay."

His eyes fill with sorrow and he looks away, trying to hide his face from me. Is he…laughing at me? He looks back, a wide grin plastered to his face and he lets out a sigh of relief.

"What?"

"What? WHAT? You had me worried so, so, so much about you these past months and all over nothing. Of _course _I'll accept you, Fred. I don't care what your sexual orientation is. Gay, straight, bisexual - hell, I don't care if you're purple for Merlin's sake! I love you and I always will!"

I let out a loud sigh and push myself against my brother, still crying.

Tears of joy.

"Now, let's get you cleaned up!"

------------------------

**Author's notes: So um, I thought I'd take a darker approach to this one. It only gets darker for the next couple of chapters, so if you don't like that kind of thing, well don't read. **


	2. Deeper than you think

The next few days passed just fine. I stopped crying myself to sleep, stopped cutting, stopped trying to keep George in the dark. Still… Something was missing.

Me and George are famous at Hogwarts for their pranks and practical jokes. A little too famous. It was already nearing Christmas break and we hadn't pulled one yet. Teachers were "Twin Proofing" their classrooms and offices and Filch and the Prefects were patrolling around the clock.

"I guess they think that they've got us then, don't they Fred?" George had a maniacal smile on his face and the look that meant that he'd come up with something big. No, huge. Enormous. "A Weasley special, eh?" I asked but knew that he wouldn't answer. We're in the Gryffindor common room on a chilly Saturday night. There are too many people around for him to let me in on whatever he had planned. Which means whatever he has planned is likely to get us expelled or detention for the rest of our time at Hogwarts.

I love it.

He catches my eye and, taking his cue, I smile the same smile and announce that I'm turning in. George joins me on my way up to our room and takes my hand in his. He's been doing that a lot lately. I guess he just doesn't want to loose me.

He's sweet.

Once we get to our room I shut the door behind us and go to sit on his bed. He sits down next to me and is quick to roll up my sleeves. The scars are slowly fading. He checks for new ones. There are none. "I love you", he says and pulls me in for a long hug. While we're so close I breath in his scent. He smells amazing. Like…..there's no other way to describe him….Like George.

"What did you have planned?" I say as he finally lets go.

"I can't tell you that, Fred."

"Why not?"

"Well then, it wouldn't be a surprise if I told you, would it?" He laughs and runs a hand through my long hair.

"But, we usually do them together!" I protest, but to no avail. He places his index finger over my mouth and then grins even wider. It's times like this that I wonder if he thinks of me as more than a brother, more than a best friend. Like…

"Well, goodnight." Fred brought me back to the real world. I went back over to my own bed and tears flowed involuntarily from my eyes. George was bringing back that feeling in me. Loneliness. I made sure to stifle my sobs in my pillows so that no one would hear. By no one I mean George. I slowly fell asleep, my mind still on the perfect image of my twin.

I cant seem to find anyone here. Darkness. I am drenched in a pool of liquid. I scoop some into my hands to taste it, but I already know what it is. Blood. My blood. No. George's blood. He is laying next to me, a note clenched in his right hand. It reads: 'I love'. The rest is all scribbles.. He must have died before he could finish it. It was made out to….George? Wait! This isn't George's body, it's mine! Those cuts were deeper than I thought! I don't want to die! I stopped! I tried to stop! I stopped for him! Red tears drip down off of my chin and I weep over the pile of forgotten flesh that is my own. Can't anybody find me? Where have I hid myself? I feel around in the darkness. A sink? A….bathtub? The bathroom! Someone has to find me, quickly! I can still feel my own pulse. A sliver of light and the door opens. It's George! GEORGE! He takes one look at me and doubles over. Grasping either side of the toilet bowl he throws up. He can't even bare to look at me. He doesn't even bother to check and see if I'm gone! I have to reach him somehow…

I woke up in a cold sweat. _Jesus it's hot_. Maybe it's just me. I felt an arm around my waist and I turn slowly to find George. He must have noticed again and came to comfort me. I look him over. He is the image of a perfect human being. Much like I used to be before I was overtaken by these feelings.

_He's not that tall, but what he lacks in height, he makes up for in muscles. _

His bright red hair falls in his face and it looks as though there are dried tears running down his cheeks. He cried himself to sleep. Over me.

"George?" I make sure that he's asleep before turning and placing a light kiss on his lips.

_I wish… _were the last two words I remember thinking that night before I fell asleep.

------------------------

**Author's notes: Sorry…was working in the moment. It'll get lighter…**


	3. Kiss me, you idiot!

When I finally got up I looked at my watch and realized that it was midway through my first class already. I looked over at the boy next to me and decided not to go. How could I choose class over George? I turned to face him. He stirs and his eyes flutter open. He smiles sheepishly and yawns big.

"mmmmm.."

"George? We're missing our first class."

"I don't care."

"Me neither."

"Good."

"Why are you in my bed?" _Not that I was complaining._

"I saw you practically fighting your covers and I thought I'd come over to help you win." Fred laughed.

"I…George…" He didn't let me finish. Instead he put an index finger over my mouth and took my hand in his, interlocking our fingers. _What's going on? Is this what I think it is?_

George and I stayed that way for a while. I heard the sounds of people filing into the Common Room below and I considered moving the other boy back to his bed, but decided to take my chances staying with George.

He opened his eyes and leaned in close.

I wanted to lean forward and close the gap between us. I decide against it. He was still smiling, and he seemed to be waiting for me to do something. He's so beautiful. I turned around and tried my hardest to go back to sleep. After a while I heard snores coming from behind me and I started to turn back around when I felt George's arm wind around me again. George moved over and spooned with my body perfectly; we were made for each other. I felt his warm breath on the nape of my neck and his lips on my cheek.

"Fred. Turn around and kiss me"

I can't believe my ears. Did he just--

"Fred, I know you're not sleeping. _Turn around and kiss me_ _you idiot!" _George's voice came from behind me. I slowly turned around to face my twin. He looked deep into my eyes and then, closing his own, wrung a hand through my hair and drew me in for a kiss. Lips parted, moans left them, wet, sweet, all of this overtook me. In that exact moment I felt something. It was like a weight that had been there before was lifted off of my heart and I didn't feel lonely anymore. I had him. I had George.

We didn't break the kiss until we were about to pass out. I looked at George. He was panting, hard, but still smiling that trademark Weasley smile. When we recovered, I was the first to speak.

"I love you."

"I love you more, you git!"

We both laughed and George reached for my shirt. I froze up a little and he laughed louder. "Don't worry about it, babe." George smiled again and I nodded my head. I let him lift off my shirt feeling my cheeks starting to burn. "You… you are so beautiful. I'm so ugly. I'm sorry!" I sobbed and buried my head in his chest. He put his strong arms around me and hushed me.

"You're still beautiful. Please, just because your body isn't all you want it to be doesn't mean that you're not . You're sensitive, you're warm, you're smart and fun to be around. You're human. And so am I. Stop telling yourself that you're ugly, because I wouldn't be right here if I thought that. And you don't want me to start believing you, do you? Head up!" George whispered and tilted my chin up with his fingers.

He kissed me again. This time less passionately and more fierce. He bit down hard on my lower lip and chuckled as I whimpered. He knew he had me at bay. I would let him take me right now if he wanted to.

He must have been reading my mind.

His hands roamed all over my chest and stomach, around my back and up and down my arms. I flinched for only a second and then remembered what he said. I am beautiful. He nibbled on my ear and down my strong jawbone. He started to suck at the skin on my neck, an orgy of flesh and tongue and teeth and lips. I hurriedly tore off my pants, throwing them behind the bed.

George took out his wand and muttered something, pointing at the curtains. He reached for them and was held back by some kind of barrier. He whispered something else and opened his mouth wide. A yawn? No, a silencing charm. On both of us. He climbed on top of me and bent me in half. I replied by wrapping my legs around his neck. He smiled and pulled a little bottle out of his discarded pajama bottoms.

From there everything was a blur of creamy skin, freckles and the sweet smell of sweat. The last thing I remember was screaming Georges name with a mute voice. He collapsed on me and we stayed that way until morning.

------------------------

**Author's Notes: Hoped you liked it. There WAS a more graphic version of this chapter, but I decided against it. Send me an e-mail if you want the whole thing, and I'll send it back.**


	4. Quiddich and confessions

George woke up the next morning, looking down at me with big brown eyes. He smiled when our eyes met and leaned down to brush a strand of red hair out of my face and kiss my forehead. "Wake up, sleepyhead! It's the day for me to initiate the first phase in my Weasley Special!" He wore his trademark "twin grin". I had the same one.

He hopped off of the bed in only his pajama bottoms and started searching for his school robes. I check my watch and realize that we've missed breakfast. _Oh well_, I too get up, naked and pull on some boxers. George looks up at me; he's already finished dressing. "Come on, you've got to go to Quiddich practice, and I've got to uh… Well, I've got to go." George winked and grabbed his bag; which looked unusually full - with something more than books.

"So, you're still not gonna let me in on this master plan of yours?" I pouted as I finished throwing on my clothes. "Well", George started, "it's supposed to be a surprise. Remember?" George laughed and then started out the door. "Wait!" I called and almost bumped my head on the bed as I hopped up with my bag.

"I thought-"

"You thought! I told you last night, remember?"

I thought back for a moment. "When you had that spell on us?"

"Yep!" George said cheerily. "That's not fair!" my ears were turning a nice maroon and I was loosing my patience.

"It's a surprise"

"A surprise for _you_, Fred, you git!"

"Oh - I - sorry." I turned redder still, and looked down at my feet, slightly….well really embarrassed. "Hey", George tilted my chin up with his fingers, "I love you." George teased me by ghosting his lips over mine. I felt a spark. George smiled and turned on his heel to run down the stairs. _Damn him. _What on Earth could it have been? It didn't matter then, I had to get out to the Quiddich pitch. I grabbed my maroon robes and broom and headed out to the pitch.

Harry and Ron were already out there. "Hey! Where's …. the other one of you?" Harry called as I made my way to the locker room. "Oh, George is busy. I don't know if he'll be able to make it today." I sounded uneasy. They must have noticed. Harry lifted an eyebrow and Ron's smile drooped. "Well - er - alright, here comes the others, lets change and get out there and fly!" Harry rallied.

The practice session was not a good one for me. Ron blocked 12 out of 14 goals, Harry found the snitch with ease and I…well, I got hit in the back with two bludgers. They reeeeeally hurt. After practice, Harry congratulated every one and announced that our next practice Thursday night. After everyone changed and started back to the castle, Harry called me back. He was with Ron. "Fred, listen, I've noticed a slight - er - change in you these last couple of months. Whatever was wrong, though, seemed to have worked itself out though, until now." Harry sat between me and Ron on a bench in the locker room.

"Yeah, what's wrong, Fred? I've never seen you without George. And you weren't doing so well out there today." Ron twiddled his thumbs and looked down at his feet. _Well, there's no point in lying to them. They're so damn persistent…_"Well, I- uh- I'm just worried about me and George's relationship." Fred spat out. "You'll always be twins, and you guys are the best of friends. You don't have anything to worry about. I'm sure George would choose your friendship over any girl, if that's what you're worried about." Harry said.

I still looked rather down, but quite amused at Harry's advice. "Harry…I don't think he means their relationship as twins…" Ron trailed off towards the end. Harry's head shot up and a large grin spread across his face. "I knew it!" Harry laughed. "That's 10 galleons from Neville!"

"Wh - What! You knew all along?" I almost fell over.

"Of course. I was just trying to let you figure it out for yourself. You two are always doing things that - er - brothers wouldn't… normally do, even for twins"

"Like?"

"The cuddling. That's really all I need to say."

My eyes were wide with realization. What brothers _cuddled _to comfort each other? What brothers held hands virtually everywhere they went? What brothers sometimes slept with the other to make sure that he was okay? "I see." was all I could say in the end. Ron and Harry just laughed at the expression on my face. "You have nothing to worry about! He loves you very much and I'm sure nothings going to change that." Ron patted me on the shoulder and together, we made it back to the Gryffindor common room. I was feeling better than I had in weeks.

When we reached the common room, it was full of people, who were all talking unusually loud. It gave me a headache and after talking to Dean and Seamus I decided to go on upstairs to go to sleep. George was waiting for me in my bed.

"Finally!" George smiled and motioned for me to join him. I did. "Hey, Gred." I said into his neck as I climbed on top of him, boxer clad. "Mmm, hi Forge." he kissed the top of my messy, red hair and held


	5. My Bleeding Hands

It was two days before Christmas break, and the Weasley twins were banned from staying over the break for obvious reasons. Yet, somehow, I managed to talk Dumbledore into letting them both stay this time. "You're a genius, Fred!" George held me tight when he found out the news. "I know, I know", I laughed and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "So when's this surprise supposed to be ready?" I asked timidly. He simply smiled and waltzed away dismissively.

I found Harry and Ron after a while playing chess in the Common Room and I decided to "bond" with them. Wow, that sounds corny. Well, we didn't bond long, because they both had to study for their upcoming O.W.L.S and I didn't want to disturb them. I went up to the dorm and sat on the edge of my bed for a while. All the while, a voice in the back of my head whispered hoarsely. I knew this voice all too well. It was the voice I had only just stopped hearing a couple of weeks ago.

_He keeps pushing me out of things. _

_I want it to be like old times. _

_I want him to appreciate my help, to seek it out. He says it's a surprise for me, but I don't know what he could possibly have in store. I know him all too well to be surprised by anything he does. Maybe he's all talk. Maybe he's trying to distance himself from me. Am I being too clingy? This is all nonsense, I'll just go and ask him about it. _

_But what if he doesn't tell me? What if he just makes excuses like he's been doing all this time? He knows I'm just gullible enough to believe him. He knows that I trust him completely. Maybe that's my downfall. _

_I bet he's cheating on me. _

_I bet he's cheating on me._

_I bet he's just trying to keep me away from him all of the time to go and sneak around with someone else. But why! Maybe I'm just imagining things…I have to know…_

The voice was getting louder and more familiar and more like me all of the time. I knew all of this was just something I thought up while I was sitting there. While I sat there and waited for him or tried to find something to do every time he left me.

I went back downstairs to see if I could find some comfort and answers from Harry and Ron. I knew I was interrupting their studying, but it was all I could do to keep myself from cutting and both they and I knew it. I told them that I was worried about George and nothing about the thoughts that I had had just moments earlier.

"You mean to say that you think he's seeing someone else, right?" Harry pinpointed. _Why is he always so damn right?_ "Ummm, yeah." I answered timidly and blushed a furious red.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure-

"_Don't worry about it! _How can I not? He's always running off and talking about this plan that he's got. I haven't heard or seen any of this damn plan, so how can I be so sure it even _exists_! I mean, how could he keep _me_ out of this?" I was enraged and shouting at the top of my lungs. Everyone was starring. I got up slowly and made my way back to the dorm, crying. I couldn't stand it anymore.

_How could they tell me not to worry? To just, sit back while my George was running off every other hour to some undisclosed location to work on some plan that he hadn't even informed his twin of? _

I buried my head deep in my pillows and tugged the curtains shut blindly. White hot tears dampened the downy soft pillows and I felt them wet my face. Like I said before, I couldn't stand it anymore. I was losing the battle with the voice in my head that had now moved to the front of my mind. I kept thinking about how George was cheating on me or just wanted to get away from me or wanted to hurt me for some foreign reason. I was slipping. I couldn't stop myself from reaching under the bed and pulling up a razor blade. Brand new.

I stopped for a minute to think it over and decided that it would be the best way to end this constant pain. This constant unknowingness. I was still a little unsure when I put the blaze to the back of my hand and made the first cut. Slow and sure and deep. I felt uneasy at the sight of the blood running down my left hand and my stomach jumped. Every muscle in the body tensed and my brain screamed, but I bit my lip hard. In the end it bled too. My left hand soon had a large, crude letter "G" on the back of it.

I tore my shirt off and made long, deep cuts in both arms. A lurch in my stomach and a foul taste in my mouth came and my eyes bulged. I swallowed it back down and felt even worse. I took the blade in my shaking left hand and watched the blood stain the rest of it before continuing on to my right hand. I slit my right wrist fast but I still felt a slight sting. I let out a sob and winced and felt back on my bed, covering my hands and bare arms with my covers.

Just when I was getting up the courage to continue, someone banged on the door. Shit. I prayed to Merlin that it wasn't who I thought it was. I willed my eyes open and George slammed and locked the door behind him. He ran over and, to my surprise, slapped me!

"You fuck! You stupid fuck!" George fell to his knees beside the bed and cried. He grabbed me and shook me uncontrollably. My head was spinning and he wasn't helping. He pulled me close to him and cried into my shoulder. "You- you git- you moron- you- why- how- I didn't." he stuttered and mumbled between sobs. He took a moment and inhaled slowly, trying to get his breathing under control. Once he stopped panting he pushed me away and held me at arms length to get a better look at me. He pulled the covers from me and looked away quickly. He was too late, though. I could tell by the look in his eyes that the damage was already done.

"How could you? Over this stupid little plan of mine? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left you out of it. I should have- I should have kept you closer to me. I- I- I tried to push you out a little further. I thought that you'd be okay. I'm sorry, Fred. This is all my fault!" George's control of his voice seemed to fade as he broke into sobs again. I looked at myself in disgust and then on the floor at the miserable red head on the floor.

He was beautiful. The mirror image of this stupid boy. Well…he WAS a mirror image of me. I should've stopped earlier. Now I am ugly. Scared and bleeding all over. I hope he still loves me like he used to. I looked closely at him. He's not that tall, but what he lacks in height, he makes up for in muscles.

I broke my trance in an instant when I realized how much blood I was loosing. I grabbed my wand from under a pillow and performed a healing spell. First on my wrist, then my arms, and finally, my left hand. I crawled to the floor and held myself against George's body. I inhaled and I warmed myself with his scent. I had stopped crying now and sow had he. We sat there in each others arms for what felt like forever. In actuality, though, we were only there a half an hour. He broke the silence.

"Are you okay, love?"

"Yes."

"Fred, I-

"Shut up. It's my fault. I kept thinking about the stupid surprise and why you'd been running off all of the time and why you'd been ignoring me. I refused to listen to Harry and Ron when they told me I had nothing to worry about. I kept thinking to myself, 'maybe he's cheating on me'. I- I knew you would never do anything like that. I just-" I stopped myself when I saw the hurt look on his face and those piercing eyes; they were locked on mine.

"I love you" I whispered, tears back in my eyes.

"I love you too, Fred." George smiled halfway and brought him lips within an inch of mine. He started to ghost a kiss over my lips, but realized that this was no time for playing and he kissed me. No tongue, no teeth, no biting, no purring, just a kiss. And when he broke it I loved him more than ever. His taste still lingered in my mouth and I felt horrible when I realized that he probably tasted the throw up that had been in my mouth earlier. I blushed and quickly apologized.

He told me that he didn't notice a thing. I could tell he was being genuine. I smiled and leaned in to kiss him again. We cast cleaning spells on my sheets, covers and pillows and spent the rest of the night against each other in my bed. Partly because we were worn out and partly because I couldn't think of anything I'd rather do with my other half on such a beautiful night. He said he could think of some other things, but again, we were too worn out for that.

_He loves me so much. How could anyone take me back after what I did. I broke our promise and I hurt myself. I'm ugly. No. I'm beautiful. Or at least he thinks so. His is the only opinion that matters, anyway. _

I looked at the back of my left hand and starred at the scar of the "G" and closed my eyes. I drifted off to sleep not too long after that.

------------------------

**Author's Notes: Totally decided that you guys needed another chapter on this one soon so it could catch up to "The Boy with the Blazing hair." Plus I got some cool emails from readers and a review that made me wanna write some more. So there's another heart warmer for ya. Getting darker. I promise it won't get much worse than that. Keep looking for a major update, though, this coming Saturday!**


	6. Choices

I awoke on Christmas Eve and automatically looked at the back of my left hand. The scar would stay there for a while, and the pain would too. I felt something move against my back; a hand snaked around my waist. George. I turned over carefully trying not to wake him. I was glad that I didn't. I looked at him through sleepy eyes and smiled. His ginger hair was a mess and fell over his right eye and he was snoring quietly. His shirt was thrown on the edge of the bed and still had blood on it from last night. Damn that was stupid of me. My mind raced over last nights events for a moment until I decided to go back to sleep. I rested my head on George's and breathed in deeply. He smelled wonderful. I closed my eyes.

**I open my eyes slowly only to see that George is no longer there. Damn. Lonely again. Christmas eve and I can't even spend it with him, now. He's probably off working on my surprise. After all of this, it better be good! I got up and went down to the Common Room. No one else was there. _Probably all outside playing in the snow. _I looked out the window and I was right. Over by Hagrid's cabin, Harry, Ron and Hermione were having a snowball fight. Neville and Ginny and others were hanging out over by the greenhouses.**

**I spotted George and my heart lit up and then sank fast. George was with Lee. Not just with Lee, he was _with _Lee. They were snogging over by the a big oak tree. I- I- I don't believe it! How _could_ he? And after everything we've been through together. "OUCH!" It came loud and hoarse from my mouth and I caressed my left hand. The scar was bleeding again. How? My eyes were watering again and I threw open the window. George caught sight of me and mouthed "I'm sorry". It was too late for that now, though. I ran out of the Common Room and through the hallways, hoping to find some relief.**

**I decided to go to the Room of Requirement. The door was there. Good, then no one else was in it. I frantically opened the door only to find someone else sitting on a huge sofa in the middle of a large room. Someone… someone crying? I inched closer, only to realize that the person crying was none other than Draco. His silver hair hung wet over his face and he was crying silently to himself. He didn't seem to notice that I was there. He wasn't the first person I thought to see in here…actually, I was hoping to be alone. But, for some reason, I couldn't help but feel sorry for him.**

**"Are- Are you okay?" I could tell that I had startled him a little. He looked up and, to my surprise, grabbed me. He hugged me? "I- I'm fine. Damn Weasleys, always meddling." Draco was still sobbing into my neck. He held me tight and continued to cry. I kissed his forehead and told him that what ever was bothering him, he could tell me. We sat that way until, finally, we both fell asleep.**

I woke up in a bed that wasn't my own. It wasn't George's either. In fact, the sheets were an emerald green and silver. I looked at the smaller boy who was huddled against me. His silver hair was perfect and he was stirring as well.

"Good morning." Draco grinned up at me. I gasped for air, I couldn't keep still. I didn't know what was going on. I looked around to see that we were in a Slytherin dormitory. But there was only one bed. I thought… I thought that was all a dream! The next thing I knew, I couldn't breath and someone was holding me tight at the waist. "You're having a panic attack! Hold still and try to breath. Just- Just calm down, love!" Draco's voice came. It wasn't steel and cold at all, though. He had terror and worry in his voice and he was crying on my back and he called me…love?

After another minute or two, I got my breathing back under control. The first thing that came to my mind was how.

"What- What happened?" I asked frantically.

"A panic attack. Calm down or it'll happen again." Draco said, still holding my waist.

"No, not the panic attack. How did I get here?"

"Don't you remember?"

"You found me in the-

"The Room of Requirement. Yeah, and you were crying and I was too. I remember that much. But I thought that was just a dream!" I was now sitting on the edge of Draco's bed. His hands caressed my bare arms and ran over all of the scars from the night before. I winced a little when he got to my left hand. "Does it still hurt?" Draco asked with a look in his eyes that I couldn't quite place.

"No." I lied. _So Lee and George wasn't a dream? _I couldn't tell where the dream ended and reality began. I hoped at least that much was a dream. "It was for George, wasn't it?" Draco's voice was down to a whisper. "I…yes. Well, it was." I felt my eyes start to water.

"You two break up or something?"

"Not exactly. I saw him snogging Lee this morning and I sorta figured that it was over. Christmas eve and he couldn't even spend it with his twin." I was crying now. Draco kissed away the tears gently and tilted my head up to look at him. "I'm sorry. I know it may not mean much, but I really am. He doesn't know what he threw away and he doesn't deserve you." Draco leaned close and closed his lips around mine.

Draco's kiss was gentle and loving. He didn't use any tongue. He probably figured that I'd freak out it he did, since I didn't remember any of what happened this morning. He broke the kiss, but kept his face close to mine. "It's Christmas Eve, you know. You should go back to him and find out if what you saw was a dream or not. You don't seem to know yourself." Draco seemed to understand me perfectly. I'd never really thought of him as a…well, a person. _He actually cares? I- Wow. He tastes like heaven. _

"You should go, now."

"I will. Just- thank you." I was blushing, hard.

"You can do that later, if you like. Please…" Draco hesitated for a moment. "If what you saw is true and you want to get away from it all…the password is _Enigma."_ Draco looked down at his feet as if scared that I would reject his offer. "I- I will." I heard myself say as I got off of the bed. I left the and headed down the stairs into the Slytherin Common Room. There were one or two Slytherin's there, but they didn't seem to mind my being there. I left and slowly made my way back to the Gryffindor Common Room. I stopped, just beside the portrait of the Fat Lady.

_What if it's all true? I'll go back to Malfoy, then. No, not Malfoy, Draco. I….I can't believe any of this, but it all feels so real. That's because it is real; not another dream. But what if he denies it. He could be lying. And if he isn't? What about Draco? I can't just leave him like that. I think…I think I have feelings for him. I do. I don't know what to do, what to think. Maybe-_

Just then, the door to the Common Room swung open and Ron and Hermione were walking out together. "Hey!" they both greeted cheerily. "Oh- um- hi. Hey, listen. Did you two see anything…unusual outside today?" I asked cautiously. "Unusual?" Hermione's face was contorted with deep thought.

"Yes."

"Like?"

"Well, what I mean to say is did you see George outside today?"

"Yes, but that's nothing unusual. Come to think of it, where were you all day today?"

"Not myself. Neither was George."

"What do you mean?"

"George. I saw him with Lee. Not just with Lee, _with_ Lee. They were snogging underneath the big oak by the lake." I looked down, hoping to hear a 'No they weren't.' or 'You're crazy'. But it never came. Hermione and Ron just stood there, looking very distressed. "Well I didn't see anything." Hermione looked at me with an accusing glance. Maybe she thought I was losing it. "I did." a voice came from behind the two. My head shot up. There was no mistaking the ginger hair, the mischievous grin and that damned maroon sweater that was sent to us every year. It was George.

"I did. But I can explain!" He yelled out after me. I was running down the hallway, tears flying in back of me. _I can explain? Who does he think he is that he can explain cheating on me? Draco was right, he doesn't deserve me. He's just a cheating bastard of a brother!_

I continued flying through the halls back to the Slytherin Portrait, George was still close behind. I guess I forgot that he could run faster than I could, or that one needed to breath to live. I fell over and hid my face in my arms and George landed right beside me. He rubbed my back, but I shook him off. "Listen. Fred, it wasn't my fault. Lee kissed me, not the other way around. I was just as surprised as you! I love you Fred…" George was now in tears himself and he held me until we both stopped crying.

When I finally looked up I saw that we were just outside of the Slytherin Common Room and the portrait seemed to be waiting on the password. "Fred, were you going to go in there?" George was still bright red from crying. I nodded, embarrassed, ashamed and confused all at the same time. "I was- I mean- what I wanted to say was…" I started, but couldn't manage to tell my brother about Draco. "It's okay, you don't have to say a word." Fred smiled and leaned forward to kiss me. After the kiss was broken I looked up to see that Draco was standing, half hidden behind the portrait, eavesdropping. The hurt look on his face and the single tear that fled from his cheek was too much for me. I looked away and mouthed, I'll come by tomorrow over George's shoulder.

"Did you say something?" George pulled away for a moment. Draco retreated into the Common Room stealthily. "No. Let's go to bed." I got up and helped my twin to his feet. He put a hand on my shoulder and bent down in front of me. "Piggy-back ride?" he grinned over his shoulder. I blushed and hopped on his back. He carried me all the way back to the dormitory. Like I've been saying, he's not that tall, but what he lacks in height, he makes up for in muscles.

I still felt sorry for Draco and embarrassed that I could actually believe that my twin would betray me like that. I wanted to go back to Draco as soon as possible and explain the situation. In truth, I didn't know what I wanted to do myself. _I love George, and I have feelings for Draco, too. After all, he was there for me in my darkest hour. What do I say to George? _

"George?"

"Yes, love?"

"About…well it was Draco."

"What do you mean?"

"Draco. Draco and I, we- we kind of helped each other out earlier. I mean to say, that he comforted me and I, him. He told me… he told me that he has feelings for me. And I kind of think, well, that I feel the same way."

"Forge?"

"No, Gred, now's not the time for pet names. I um….I need to be alone for the night. I need to think. I still love you, I'm so sorry."

"Shut up."

My eyes began to water again and George's strong arms wrapped around me. "Shut up apologizing. I love you too. I understand, I'll leave for tonight. I hope I'll see you tomorrow, love." George kissed the top of my head, and I felt a tear hit my nose that wasn't my own. A pang of guilt hit me hard as I heard the door slam shut.

------------------------

**Author's Notes - Okay, you guys. Here's an early update! I know I said Saturday but I was loosing my mind and I neeeeded to post it! I have no idea what I'm going to write next. If you have any ideas about what Fred should choose to do, then E-mail me! I just might use an idea of yours!**


End file.
